Harder Than You Think
by Onyx Angel Eyre
Summary: Graeden is a veela and he hates all the attention that comes with it, he would rather hide in the library and read all it has to offer but a Sirius Black shaped wrench is thrown into his plans.


**A new story I am working on, I would like to thank my great Beta who always seems to have her red pen handy Lillith Nocturne. I promise I will be continuing work on my stories BUT I will work harder and faster if I get some reviews -wink wink- lol. As you notice I tend to have a thing for Sirius Black and who can blame me but I hope you enjoy the story.**

I looked out the window of the train, watching as the country side speeds past me, a whirl of green and blue as we raced towards Hogwarts. I know some think that the English countryside is beautiful but you have no idea just how beautiful until you are there. Rolling green hills filled my vision, criss-crossed with fences giving the lush green fields an almost quilt-like appearance. As beautiful as it is, I can't stop the apprehension I feel as my train gets closer and closer to its destination. I let out a long sigh as I slumped down into my seat a little, both excited to return and nervous about what it means. I love Hogwarts, being with my friends and learning all I can (I am a bit of a bookworm) but there's always a little dread in the air for me. I'm a veela, which means I am pretty, lithe, and rather delicate looking, which would be great if I wasn't a boy. I know, must be a bitch to be pretty, but before you judge me there are some things you should know.

I question the intentions of those around me constantly, wondering if its me they like or just the charm I give off which makes trust and any sort of a relationship hard to develop. I can't just turn this off by snapping my fingers, waving my wand, or wiggling my nose to turn into a normal wizard. On top of that, I'm gay and it is all beginning to sound like a bad soap opera isn't it? The poor beautiful boy who is lost and mistrusting, but I promise you, there aren't any evil twins and I don't often faint into the arms of a muscle-y lothario, much as I would love to.

"Graeden, you ok?" asks my best friend Bellatrix, her usual air of insanity floating around us. Most people think she's as crazy as they come, but she's always been nice to me. I met her on the first day, I was sorted into Ravenclaw and she into Slytherin, we decided soon after I would help her with homework and she would always protect me. For a while, she took some flack from her sister Narcissa and friend Lucius since I wasn't from their house but they had slowly accepted me. I think some of that had to do with my charm, Lucius began to take a liking to me and decided that I would be the perfect boyfriend, or possibly the perfect trinket, to add to his collection and soon after we had formed our little group.

"I'm fine Trixie, just nervous." I smiled at her, laughing when she stuck her tongue out at me.

"You need to learn to act more lady like if you are ever going to get married." Narcissa sighed from across the car, a slight smile playing on her lips.

"Oi, why would I ever want to do that?" Bellatrix scoffed.

"That's as likely as Graeden accepting my advances." Lucius almost purred. My eyes rolled in annoyance as I turned my attention back to the window.

"And we all know that's not going to happen." I chuckled, watching as Bellatrix glared at him in the reflection.

"Plus, wouldn't mummy and daddy be upset? You are promised to my fair sister after all." Bellatrix pointed out, now it was Lucius's turn to stare out the window like it provided any sort of escape.

"I am well aware of our families plans, after all you are promised as well." Lucius replied, his eyes still fixed on the world of swirling green. Lucius and Narcissa would certainly make and interesting pair; they both had this odd air of contempt around them, no matter the circumstances, which I thought would make sex rather interesting between the two.

We pulled into the station, watching as the rest of the train spilled out in and hurry like milk spilled on the breakfast table, but our car remained as reserved as usual. We were making quite a reputation for ourselves, most of my house thought of me as an icy snob but I didn't care as long as they left me alone and Slytherin always gave Bellatrix, Lucius, and Narcissa a wide birth.

Making our way to the castle I noticed the happy faces of my classmates, first years scared and worried, and the rest brimming with excitement. I had been like that my first day, so scared and nervous but my mother had told me that my years at Hogwarts would be the happiest I had ever known.

"Hello Graeden." came from behind me. I turned to see Sirius Black looking at me, as smug as ever. This was a game we played, and while I wasn't sure what he saw in me I didn't mind egging him on, occasionally. He was extremely gorgeous and a bit of a trouble maker which only seemed to fuel my attraction towards him.

"Sirius." I nodded politely, the corners of my mouth tugging up ever so softly.

"Oi, filthy traitor, leave us alone." Bellatrix snapped, growling at her cousin.

"Nutter." Sirius called back, his eyes never leaving mine. Bellatrix's looming presence, however, won causing Sirius to walk away to joining his friends.

"Why do you feel the need to encourage him?" Lucius almost scolded me.

"I'm not encouraging him, I simply acknowledged him." I responded with a sigh, glaring at him.

"That's all it takes." Lucius continued, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the castle. I slipped away from him, glaring as I made my way up the trail behind them. Not wanting to join them and be scolded by Lucius more, I watched as the first years were being led to the lake to take boats to the castle. My memory of doing so made me smile. Once I was sure that Lucius and the others were gone I stepped onto a vacant carriage.

"I thought you would be riding with the rest of your friends." Looking up I saw Lily Evans and Severus Snape climbing into my carriage, Severus eyeing me suspiciously.

"They went ahead without me." I tried to reply kindly.

"You're the veela aren't you?" Severus asked, suddenly interested.

"And not an experiment." I glared, already knowing were his thoughts were going.

"I'm sorry, it's just that the hair of veela is said to contain magical properties." Severus apologized, doing a horrible job of it however.

"That's true but I'm only part veela." I sighed, turning my attention to the woods around us.

"Severus, leave him alone, I'm sure he already gets enough people bugging him." Lily scolded as Severus became quite interested in the floor.

"Thank you." I nodded still looking into the woods. We rode the rest of the way in relative silence and I rather enjoyed it, always enjoying being in the woods. I couldn't help but smirk as I watched Severus dote on Lily out of the corner of my eye, quite obviously completely in love with the girl. I envied what they had but I also pitied poor Severus; I knew Sirius and the rest of the Marauders loved to torture him to no end and I didn't quite know the reason but I knew that those four boys were a handful.

Once at the castle, I made my way to my dorm, unpacked my robes and hung them in my wardrobe. My home was always warm and inviting but I really did love being in the castle, a place where I could immerse myself in books and magic. I breathed in deep, loving the slightly cold musky smell of the stone.

** X X X X X X X X X X X**

"You would think that they would cut down on homework the first day." Lucius sighed as he sat next to me on a rock. I didn't care to acknowledge his presence, rather enjoying the calm water lapping at the shore as I watched the lake outside the castle.

"You would think you would grow used to it by now." Narcissa scolded, something I learned long ago that she was very good at.

"Stupid bloody Divinations, when will tea leaves and crystal balls help me?" Bellatrix scoffed, tossing her book to the ground.

"Trix, its not that hard." I smirked, earning a good hearty laugh when I stuck my tongue out at her.

"One of the reasons I love having you around." she smiled, running up to me and spinning me around.

"How do you make sense of any of this?" Narcissa asked, looking through her book as if it were written in Greek.

"Not everything in life is black and white, sometimes you have got to learn to see past the rules." I smiled as I walked over, sitting next to the sour faced girl.

"I'll stick to Transfiguration and Potions." she chuckled, putting the book away.

"Sometimes I don't get why you love Divination and Herbology so much." Lucius chuckled, annoying me as usual.

"'Cause when I look into a crystal ball or plant lavender, I don't see you staring back at me." I smirked earning a loud hearty laugh from Bellatrix behind me.

** X X X X X X X X X X X**

Leaning over my cauldron in potions, I could feel a headache coming on as I re-read the directions for the potion. I hated the class with a passion but I always received high marks; I would settle for nothing less than perfection when it came to my studies. Because of this, I had become a teachers pet for a few professors at Hogwarts, something that had only further soured my classmate's opinions of me. I would rather sit and learn about the history of wizardry than sit around and talk about who liked who and who was seen snogging and where.

"Its coming along very well." smiled Professor Slughorn brightly, peering into my cauldron to check on the bubbling blue mixture.

"Thank you, sir." I nodded politely before I sprinkled in the next ingredient. With a puff of purple smoke the potion began to take on a violet hue, Slughorn giving a approving nod before making his way to the front of the room. I double checked the directions, sighing with relief to see that the liquid was supposed to do that, before I stirred it nine more times.

"At the end of class today would Lily Evan, Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Molly Prewitt, Barnabas Cuffe, Edmund Nott, Eldred Worple, and Graeden Diggory please remain." Slughorn announced rather ceremoniously. I exchanged a confused look with Lucius as the class began to fill with hushed talking, our classmates looking around as they began to wonder if we were in trouble or if there was something else going on. I was sure that, by the end of the day, everyone in Hogwarts would know that the eight of us had been held over and I was kind of looking forward to hearing the preposterous reasons the gossiping mob would come up with.

I submitted my potion, a Peace Draught, and began to clean up my table. It was purely busy work though, as I was beginning to really wonder why I was being kept after class. I quickly removed being reprimanded off the list. Lily Evan wasn't the getting-into-trouble type and, for that matter, neither was I. Added to that was the fact that Slughorn was looking even more full of himself than usual, a feat that I never thought possible. Once finished, I sat quietly, chewing on my bottom lip and I watching the class slowly empty after turning in their samples of potions.

"I have asked you eight to remain after because I feel you are some of the brightest students at Hogwarts today and I am inviting you to join a very special club." Slughorn announced as he puffed up and almost strutted back and fourth at the front of the room.

"What kind of club, sir?" Lily asked rather interested.

"We will have monthly dinners where we will discuss important topics in the world. Our first meeting will be at the end of the week and I do hope that you will all join me." he answered, sounding like he was the Minister of Magic himself.

**So what do you all think? I hope I get some reviews cause I would love to know what you all think.**


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